Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
