whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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