I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
