i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
