Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Two words: nipple clamps
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