Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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