Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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