I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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