dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
soo... how was my night?
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