It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
