I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
