just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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