I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The best revenge is premature balding
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Randomize
