I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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