Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
