He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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