South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
