I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body