If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
