Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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