we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
