ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
