Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
