is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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