i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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