I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
