Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
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He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
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The feeling are messing with the penis
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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