overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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