it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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