I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
