tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
