Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
