how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
