Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
