I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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