there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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