did you get engaged???
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
