i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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