This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
