they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
