Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
