Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
