I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
