If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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