ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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