is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
