I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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