do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it's like heaven, but drunker
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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