Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
