There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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