My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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