I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
