i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i out mim tonsoeep
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