..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
