did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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