I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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