If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
