3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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