dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
