You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize