You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
