dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
