if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
