In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm always down for nudity.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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