how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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