He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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