do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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